Mixed feelings.

I don't even know what to write, how to express what I'm feeling.

House is a little chaotic right now, everything everywhere, out of place, on its way to a suitcase, laundry drying, empty spaces of the furniture and appliances we've sold so far.
Boxes being taken out, labeled and packed, suitcases completed and stored in a room. Closet getting emptier and emptier.
Deciding what to take and what to leave behind is hard for me. I know I should be putting a lot more hours into the packing and cleaning so I don't have to do it rushing at the end. And I'm not procrastinating... is just that I can't bring myself to pack and choose because it means the end of this life.
I know it's being hard on both of us, it's being difficult to say good bye, to let go. I'm trying to enjoy everything the best I can... the last mornings in our place and the sun getting in through the window.
Having less and less food in the fridge and pantry is also hard. Posting your furniture on line for sale is hard. We sold the couch and the coffee table over the weekend, there is a big clear space in the living room now filled with odd things.

We still have to go through some logistics on how to ship, pack, etc... some things... I'm stressed.

And sad.

See you soon, S.

Life is changing...

Life changes all the time, but sometimes we notice more than others. There are small, light changes that happen in the every day things, as you go, and one day you realize that that cereal that you used to love and eat all the time doesn't fancy you anymore and you haven't had it in a while... or that your favorite dress, the one that you used all the time, has been hanging in your closet for 6 months without use. There is small changes that we do and have, like getting closer with a new friend or growing apart another.

And there is big, huge, complicated and life-changing changes that also happen. Sometimes planned, sometimes out of the blue. Sometimes you look forward to them, sometimes you try to avoid them like the plague.

Our life is changing... we are getting closer and closer to our final day in our loved little city in the mid-west. We are preparing to go back to Mexico and join our families there.
There is a really bittersweet taste to all of this. We are working on all the logistics of a move, more if you think that it's a move to another country. We've decided not to take our furniture and large belongings with us. We are taking "the essentials" that are still a lot of things... lots of clothes to pack, lots of yarns and baking ware to take with us. Of course my wonderful Kitchen Aid will come with us.
That means we have to sell, give away, donate, dispose, etc of a large number of things... we practically have a complete apartment full of things and comodities to live. We have a lot more than we realize.

We are trying to juggle the last few days here, with work for MG and the shop for me... visiting and farewells with good friends, last parties and walk around town. All added to the packing and all the mentioned above that needs to happen before we leave.

I'm looking forward to go to Mex, I cannot wait to see my mom and dad, my uncle and aunts and my grandma! I'm sad to leave here, but I'm looking forward to come back to visit and I have a couple of hope trips for the summer.

I have to pack some more,
See you soon!
S.

Documenting things...

Life keeps going and going... every day I write wonderful blog posts in my head about all the exciting, and not so exciting, things that happen in our lifes, but very sadly they just stay in my head.
I've been terrible about documenting our life lately. I should say almost terrible because I have taken pictures and saved the memorabilia that goes with them, but I've just been bad about recording and documenting them somewhere:: in my scrap albums, the blog, my emails to Mex, my project life... etc.

I think I feel that once I've missed an important day, an event, sometime when something worth to be recorded, happened; I can't just skip it and keep going with the documenting of the other things/days, and I have to wait until I get that first day down. Which becomes a problem because I keep living exciting things that I want to document and share -or not, maybe just for me- but then I just get paralized and feel overwhelmed at the idea of all the things I need to put down.
And then they either get lost, not scraped, not put together somewhere, not blogged... or I just make a bad, poor and short recap of all that happened in that time.

I figure that mostly I'm doing this for myself. Because I like to do it. Because I like to have a record and document of my life and the amazing things and people in it. I don't mind sharing it at all. I love when people sees what I write, or my albums with my photos and my stories... I love when they comment about it or have fun looking thru my story. But I realize now that I don't do it for them. I don't do it for someone specifically. I've always dreamed about having this records and stories of my life so my kids can see what I was like, how things where around me, who where who, what, when and why of a lot of things, and get an escence of who I am today (whenever today might be).
If my kids, or someone else, have a good time looking thru what I save, record and document... it'll be great! I'll be thankful they do and I hope they have a good time. But in the end, I'm doing it for me. Just for the pleasure of doing it. Just because I like it and I enjoy it.
And if I have a trip or a great day that I want to document and put down to enjoy it again later... I will. And I won't care if what I have to say about it is a whole book or just two lines. I won't care to "deliver" something in a timely manner. I won't stress myself over not having cool photos or the right saying for each of them. I won't care if I have a good day that is not so good and I feel like writing that I'm sad or upset, because those things also happen in life.
I'll let go of the guilt of not recording a special day. If I have time to go back to it later, it'll be great, my story will be more complete; but if I don't have time and it gets buried under other days... I won't feel guilty to skip it and continue with the other events. I might go back to it because I'd like to have it. But in the end, the whole point of this is for me to be happy and enjoy it and not to stress about it. And anyways, whatever gets down will be a part of my story. Having something down is more than a lot of people have in their whole lifes.
This is for me!
I don't have to make my life interesting for others, it is more than interesting to me!

Happy Thursday and see you soon!
S.

Still Here... again!

I can't believe it's been more than a month since I blogged.
I've been thinking about it a lot, I've started several post that don't get finished and I've done lots of things that get recorded in amazing posts in my mind.

Our winter break was awesome and MG took about 10 days off work which gave us a lot of time together to play and visit and don fun things together. Lots of time with friends, lunches, dinners, board games nights, etc.
We were snowed in for a couple of days so we had to cancel a trip we had planned to Indy for 3 days because all the roads were closed and places, museums, shops and more were closed, so there was no point. Happily we were able to get a refund!

The snow days were cold but fun... I like the look of it and I love to write messages on it. MG was the happiest getting a shovel and going out to shovel parking spaces in our apartments lot just for recreational shoveling... and I was the happiest going to the corner of houses, sheds, balconies and such were icicles had grown to take them down and play with them. It makes me sooo happy!!! I love icicles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then we started the year with all the arrangements of leaving this loved place to go back to Mexico and seeing the deadline of our time here approach....... and then chaos.
At the end it was our decision due to a series of different misunderstandings and unfortunate series of events, but MG's prospect job fell trough, so now we are back to the look out for a job... deciding if we go straight back home, if we extend here, if he applies for another job here, is there a chance of this, of that or any other thing... talking to people here, in Mexico, and it has just been a full, stressful, emotional roller coaster in the past couple of weeks.
We are both stressed, trying to make the best of it, and so far the only "sure thing" is that we have extended our stay here for a little more. Still everything is pretty hectic around here and it's been hard to take my mind of it and be on top of my game.

My knitting and crochet are growing and I've enjoyed a lot this month at the shop, which being my last one (as it was supposed to be) I've had lots of classes and activities. They were so awesome to name January "Shanti's Month" so all my project based classes were free this month as a farewell which brought so many people in so I could share this craft I love so much.

I miss my mom a lot and I'm thinking about joining my friends (from Mexico) in Aspen for a week of fun next month... I cut my hair again and did red highlights which I love!

Also, I started Weight Watchers... trying to eat healthier, less, more water, more exercise...

Just a lot of things at the same time... but this is life! and I'm sure soon will be amazing, even more!

Thank you for your company here!
See you soon!
S.

12-12-12

I like days with dates like this one, I think they have some magic...
I made a wish at 12:12 today.

For this post I thought I'd show you 12 projects I haven't showed before... I couldn't find 12 around, so I'm skipping that until another day.

But I'll make a list of 12 random facts about me that you may or may not know:

1. I love to sing, but not so much to listen to music. I don't mind music if I'm in an open space or with more people but if I'm alone, sometimes it becomes a little overwhelming. I prefer to sing to myself.

2. I've been doing digital scrapbooking since 2010 and I love it. I think is the perfect way for me to make something fun with our photos and preserve our memories.

3. I listen to The Digi Show podcast, where they talk about digital scrapbooking... different to the music, I can listen to those episodes for hours one after another!

4. Until 2 years ago I wasn't really interested in clothes! I'm into them now, definitely.

5. I started baking in 2010. Fun!

6. I've been crocheting since I was 6, so 24 years now... only 4 knitting.

7. I want to be a crochet and knitting designer.

8. I'm terrible at drawing and I think I have no sense of color.

9. I started making jewelry in my sophomore year in high school. Almost all the time since then I have pliers and wire to hand... I am not good at selling it at all.

10. I'm in love with bright colors!

11. MG was my one and only boyfriend and he's the perfect hubby for me!!

12. I love cookies!!


There you go, 12 totally random facts.

See you soon!
S.

I don't understand violence...

Today, I woke up to screams and yelling outside in the back parking lot, there are some other apartment buildings down there... I didn't know what is that had awaken me, until a clear phrase, out of the top of someones lungs, came loud and clear "You'll see, I'll get a restrain order" followed by some slaping... I imagined someone hitting the one that had yelled.
I got out of bed and peer through the window... I saw a man going away, tall and wearing a white hodie... I saw someone, smaller, couldn't tell if man or woman, closer, runing through the little forest we have in the back, and then stopping, rubbing his/her arms as if hugging themself... he/she didn't have a jacket... and it's cold in the mornings.
Then he/she, started to run towards the road and out of my sight...

What can make a person capable of hitting another one and thinking that is right??
Having worked with the Rescue for women of domestic violence, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it the whole day... I was also sad and scared. I wish no one would have to suffer that. EVER.

see you soon,
S.

MG's present...

Remember that MG brought me a little present from his trip??
Well, here I have a couple of photos for you...

Isn't that a very preatty butterfly?? I love butterflies...
So this has links on the side, that unroll and open and it becomes a purse holder... you know? one of those things that you put on the table and then hang your purse/bag in the hook. It suports with it's own weight and gets your purse close to you, and not in the floor. Ideal for restaurants!!

I couln't take a picture of it in a table, because somehow all the tables in our house are wider and it doesn't fit.

That's all for today... I need to focus and start packing!! we are moving to the other side of town in 2 weeks and we haven't started with the packing... I'm thinking yarns are going into a box today!

See you soon!
S.

Thank you!!!

I was playing around with the new settings of Blogger and I ended up studing the stats of the blog.

Here's what I found among other things...

Pageviews all time history   80,393

WOW!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 

My blog has been alive for a little bit more than 2 years and it's amazing that eighty thousand people around the world (probably a lot less but some of you several times) have seen my blog.

Thank you!!

You made my day!

See you soon!

S. 

A happy moment...

Lately, a very happy moment of my day is when I get to bed or when I just wake up in the morning...
I feel so so blessed for having a bed. A nice, soft, comfortable and warm bed.
And that minute when I awake and I can feel the covers around my body, warming me up and keeping me in a little nest of love... makes me really really happy.
It's the perfect feeling of love and protection and I love it.

See you soon!
S.

A week to fill....

I just posted about our 4th of July...  but it didn't seem the same theme to include this in that post...

My dear hubby flew today to the east coast to attend a conference and will be there for a week...
I have a week to fill without him... specially at nights.
I sure miss him.

I spent the day at the yarn shop and was great! Lots of friends and good talk.

A couple of episodes on digital scrapbooking podcast, and photo organization...

A quiche lorraine in the oven...

I'll probably watch Grey's Anatomy for a while and then to bed...

I have a yarn day tomorrow too!

I'm so blessed to have that place!

I miss you Honey!!
S.

Maybe a little off....

I'm not sure what is it.
I am happy, very very happy... I've continued doing my excercise... not every day but I'm working hard on it, and I'm not hating it which is very good. I've been trying to eat healthier and drink plenty of water, but...
I feel off.
Even when I'm happy, I feel out of energy and not very inspired to do my crafts.
I've been doing them. I haven't stop crocheting or knitting or doing jewelry or photography. But I just feel blah. and I don't know why and I don't like it.

I hope soon will be better.

Until then,
S.

Soooo tired

It's 7.29pm

I left the shop at 6pm, hoping to catch the 6.05 bus.... 6.23 and it hadn't arrived, when I heard someone from the bus station saying to a customer that the bus would take another 20 minutes to get there...
We have rainy snow right now and it's cold... it was getting dark and I was cold.
I walked a block to a little coffee and chocolate shop to buy a hot chocolate... I like their products but I think they are very expensive... (seriously... $2.60 for a one bite chocolate-truffle kind???)
The hot chocolate was good though, not amazing but good and warm. Walked back to the bus station (bus stop downtown where all the buses stop so you can change to another and get to a different part of the city) and kept waiting...

Got home at 6.59pm...
Now in my PJ's and after relaxing a bit online... I'm off to bake!!!! nothing that a sweet baking can cure right?
So today we are making a Tres Leches cake to take tomorrow to the shop to eat with my friends!!!
I'll show you pictures later.

See you soon!
S.

Happy New Year!!!

I just want to wish you all a great and happy New Year!!


May 2012 be a wonderful year from you, with lots of love, health, good food and happy people around you!

See you next year!
S.

I'm still here...

I don't know what's happening... I'm still here and I have a lot of things to share and write, but I just don't feel like writing... my camera keeps filling with pictures that I take to post and keep the memories and when I get to the computer I just can't bring myself to do it...

I'll be back, hopefully soon!

S.

R is for Royal Wedding...

And I know we've had several things going on in the world and several days have passed since the Royal Wedding was.... but as I thought and thought about a good post with "R" anything came to mind nor seemed more acurate than the Royal Wedding... so:::

R is for ROYAL WEDDING!!!!!

I was one of the 2.5 billion people that saw the Royal Wedding on TV and I have to say that I enjoyed it enormously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've always been a dreamer... a princess and fairy tale believer... an avid reader of romantic stories with happy endings.... and I must confess that I didn't knew a lot about the wedding until a week ago or so. I've seen pictures of them on the magazines but never bought one to read about it... until last week when TLC channel started a whole week of wedding specials with stories of the Royal Family, their weddings, their lifes, the preparings for this wedding, the wedding and story of Prince Charles and Lady Di, the story of Kate and William, interviews, set ups and more....

And I saw most of them and recorded all of those that I couldn't watch... I got excited in most of them, I got goose pumps all over my body all the time and more than once I had tears in my eyes and sometimes down my face.

I wasn't even born when Prince Charles and Lady Di got married and I must have missed all the Royal weddings between then and now (although I think they had never done one like this one)...
So I was absolutely thrilled with this fairy tale...

It amazed my completely all the effort and detail that they put in all of it... the great protocol and formalities that they have through their lifes... the political life and manners that they have to observe and attend... and the down to earth, in-love, happy and nervous couple that looked eager to be with and for each other and make a life together...
I think she looked absolutely gorgeous and amazing and I think she'll make a great Princess...

And after all, she got what every girl dreams of...

See you soon!
S.


All the images are borrowed from the Brithish Monarchy's Flickr...

No pictures for a while!!!!!

I am so sad!!!!
Today I took pictures of my scales bag that I finally got back from the yarn store yesterday... I was so excited to show you!!!
And I was trying to insert the memory card of my camera in the laptop, and I was doing it without seeing or paying atention, and I put it in the wrong place ::: where the CD's go!!!! so when I realized I had did that I panicked a little and tried to pull it out with tweezers and pliers with no success but to get it further into the space...
I'm hoping for a good weather tomorrow so I can take it to the PC doctor... Oh my poor laptop!

And that also means that I'll be a couple of days (and hopefully no more than that...) with out my camera and pictures!!!!

Oh my!!

In other themes... I've had headaches during the last week... I have always suffered of migraines and I'm "used" to, but that doesn't makes them any easier or fun... the new thing this time was a lot of dizzyness, and I was tired and without energy... today I couldn't go to my zumba class because everything was spinning around me!!!!

So I looked for the sympthoms over the internet and my conclusion is that I'm dehydrated... I'm not taking for granted that I have nothing else and if it continues I'll go to see a doctor... but I thought about it and I'm doing a lot more excersice of what I'm use to and I know that I've never been a good water drinker... I have to focus every day to drink as much water as I can, because even when I try to drink and drink and I feel like I've been drinking ALL day, the truth is that when I do good I get 6 cups of water and I almost NEVER get to the recommended 8... so if I'm doing a lot of excersice with the zumba and I'm sweating A LOT in each class and not geting my water back... it makes sense to think that I'm dehydrated isn't it???

So I spent the afternoon drinking water... I still have 2 cups to go to get to the recommended 8... wish me luck!

See you soon! I hope!

S.

Google reader

I've read about it in several blogs and I've never tried it before. I think I had looked at it, or look for it, and haven't found it...
Well, today I have.
It was amazing!!!

I've been having troubles to read the blogs I follow and keep updated on them... I was using the feature that shows on your personal blog, on the lateral bar, the blogs you follow and their recent postings... but then I went to one of them and discovered that I had missed several days!!! and there were others that didn't appear there for days and I was looking them through other blogs or googled them to catch up... I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself...
The point is that I felt like I was losing the updates of my favorite blogs, and somehow today I got to google reader and WOW!!!!

I got all the blogs, all the posts that I had missed, all the updates and when they happened... and I could see them organized by the date and time they were posted, or by blog, or alphabeticar order and more... and I could see them on a list or displayed with all the content......

I think I'm the last person on knowing about this... and I still have to learn a couple of things to use it... and I'm wondering::: I think it only shows blogs from blogger... am I right??? so typepad and wordpress won't show there I guess... good thing is that I only follow like 5 of those and I have them in my favorites or I get the updates in my email...

I hope I'll be able to keep updated now...

I'm off to the yarn store!!!
See you soon!
S.

Just something to say...

Today I crocheted almost all day! was wonderful...
I was working on my Crochet Club project which uses fingering yarn and 3mm hook... my hands and wrists are sore even when I was doing my hand therapy and ice diping while crocheting...

It has been snowing the whole day...
I hope to take some pictures tomorrow to show them to you...

I've been in a relaxing computer time catching up in blogland... how can one keep up with so many delightful blogs!!!! I want to see them all and comment in all of them because leaving some love is always good... but it takes a huge amount of time and even when I have it sometimes it feels like there's too much to see and read and learn and not enough time... do you feel the same?

My head is pounding...

Good night!
See you soon!
S.

10-10-10

Just wanted to post because I lOvE the date!

    10/10/10

...almost gone as it is 11.46 pm where I am...

I had a great B-day party today!!!

Good night and see you soon!
S.